google brings you to the strangest places...

Well, these have been collecting for a while, and tonight happens to be excellent for a fluff post, so instead of chemistry you get...weird Google searches that ended up at CBC. Chemistry can wait for tomorrow, yes?

• We have a few people who apparently don't think much of us authors:
  dumb people in grad school
  grad school for undergrad fuck ups
  the internet is full of assholes
  The third search was probably looking for Uncle Al. I wouldn't call Excimer dumb (EDIT: Excimer does)--far from it (EDIT: all the time)--but I am most definitely a fuckup, so that one's right on target. (EDIT: the last time Excimer argued with her and said she wasn't a fuckup, he got pwnz043d pretty hard. So there you go.)


• It's pretty clear what this person was looking for:
  I wanted a shark that's big enough to eat you, and in a large enough amount of liquid so that you could imagine you were in there with it.
  I really don't know why, though.


• A few people appeared to be legitimately seeking information, but I don't know why Google thought they might find it here:
  % of men who act on gay curiosities
  pics of what mole poo looks
  what happens when you see medusa's gaze
  how to edit a picture to look like an acid trip
  I guess I should take that last one as a compliment? The colorful things in the lab never make me wonder whether I'm tripping acid, though.


• This person has apparently been reading too much Palahniuk:
  can you live without a cerebral cortex


• whereas this one has a grooming issue:
  removing nasal hair


• and this one probably cut himself after finding nothing emo except for an emergency button on CBC:
  something emo to read


• The last few are just WEIRD, and there's no sane way to categorize them, so here they are:
  condoms clothesline weird
  tennis ball machine gun
  wanting to break hot water heater
  I wonder why these wackos never comment. Or maybe they do...

EDIT: The past hour has seen all sorts of searches, presumably from people who already
read CBC. My favorites are carbon-based condoms and is my nasal hair large enough.

ah, google...

Excimer and I both have many things to do in a short amount of time, so it's unlikely that you'll get a serious post out of either of us anytime terribly soon. In the meantime, though, it's been a while since you saw any of the search terms that got people to CBC...

We had some strange confessions:
i got bromine in ch2cl2 on my skin
kittens are blinded by camera flash

A few quasi-scientific-sounding searches:
distilling absinthe using pressure cooker
awesome state singlets

People looking for advice:
is it bad to not go to an uncle's funeral
is fish bad when it has a bad smell

And a few searches that were downright creepy:
japanese skirt obstacle course
george whitesides sleep
better than ether to knock someone out

you found us HOW?!

Every now and then it's nice to be able to post something amusing that doesn't require much thought. Search engines are great for this. I don't know what these people were looking for, but most of them probably didn't find it here:

aldrich bottles
silicon carbide paper home depot
biology nonstick (They're clearly looking in the wrong place. No biology here!)
milkshake tattoo
shower curiosities
stalker tools

The kinkiest searches were probably fetish for hydrocarbons and nipple pierce electrode.
We also got hits from they hate him they rollin and pimp glassware.
Someone was wondering is vodka carbon based? Meanwhile, someone else asked what will remove highlighter ink from a shirt? (Easy! Just get a self-cleaning shirt.)

Some people decide to use Google as a confessional:

hair dye clogs drains
iodine turned me pink
i got methylene chloride in my eye

Ouch. That sounds painful.

happy new year!

Instead of actual chemistry or even pictures[1], I present you with...the top five most random Google searches that ended up here:


5. ouch
Random? Kinda, I guess.

4. firearms curiosities
This one came out of Tehran, IIRC.

3. turns organic solvents pink
Something I would never have thought to google.

2. don't see wheels in carbon
Sounds completely off-the-wall unless you are a car enthusiast.

1. satan's solvent
My absolute favorite. I wonder which solvent they meant? Personally, I hate hate hate DMF.


Next year there will be ten instead of just five, and they will be more random. After all, CBC has only been alive for about three months. There's room for improvement. Thanks for reading, and here's hoping you start 2007 hangover-free! [2]



[1] because I've been lazy and haven't been in the lab

[2] Otherwise, I hear all the sharp pointy hexagons in the background hurt your head.