Ψ*Ψ's (unorthodox) GRE survival guide

Fair enough, disclaimer first: I don't have anything to do with ETS or its testing centers. But standardized tests are my one saving grace amidst the many things I fuck up on a daily basis. (Left or right? I don't know! Triangle geometry? All good!) Since I only took the (insert expletive of choice) computer-based general test--my chemistry subject isn't scheduled until November--my advice is limited. It's GRE season, though, so I'll give my $0.02 if it'll put some other poor undergrad's mind to rest.
Quantitative. I'm gonna assume (for the sake of my sanity?) that there are only a few biologists in the audience. For the rest of us--who had to suffer through entirely too much calculus--this should be the easy section.[1] That doesn't mean it's not a pain in the ass. Since you can't use a calculator (unless they changed the rules), it will help you a lot to re-learn how to do basic arithmetic on paper. Yeah, yeah, and go over high school math as well, because that's pretty much the hardest stuff on there. But the most useful advice I can give you is: finish the section. (If they haven't changed it) the scoring is based mostly on how you do on the first bunch of questions. It's entirely possible to guess on about the last 8 questions and not miss any points. If you run low on time, just pick random answers and hope you're lucky.

Verbal. This is brutal. If the SAT verbal was cake for you...don't expect the same here. It's the vocabulary that will kill you, because--if you're a chemist--you've spent three or four years learning very long and obscure words.[2] Unfortunately, they're not the ones you're tested on. Number2 has some (arguably) useful free vocabulary quizzes. I'd give them a try if I were you--ETS is supposed to send you free software to prepare for the monster, and usually they do, but in many cases it arrives well after the test date.[3] But the best advice I can give you is METAL. The scary-looking Scandinavian men in the picture above are here to guide you.[4] They use big words (if you can pick them out of the screaming). I'll credit Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth (among others, of course) for a good chunk of my verbal score.
Writing. This one's hard to prepare for. Your lab reports may be nice for technical writing, but that isn't really what they want from you. Last I checked, they were looking for well-structured essayish stuff. I'd definitely be lying if I said I wrote essays to practice questions to prepare for this. Pfffft. I'm too lazy for that. A good way to learn how to write decent essays is to read them. Chuck Palahniuk (wrote Fight Club, remember?) has a book of essayish writings out. No promises here--I write a lot in the first place (and usually it's more structurally, um, cohesive than what you read on CBC) so I don't know exactly how much it helped. It's hella entertaining, though. Fun stories.

That's everything I did, anyway. It's not like the exam actually matters THAT much. But if you were looking for an excuse to listen to black metal...well...I have many excuses for that.[5]

[1] I haven't had to deal with the curly S of death for a year or so now. I think I've mostly recovered from it.
[2] Can't tell you how many engineers I saw stare at chemical names and shake their heads this summer during their presentations. "I'm not gonna try to pronounce that."
[3] I'm not sure whether this is accident or eeeeevil. I stand by my statement because it happened to me and several friends.
[4] Postdoc: "They're angry because they're really cold."

[5] And my labmates hear them. Often.