9/02/2007

Alternative Nanolifestyles

So a few years back Jim Tour, simultaneous nanogenius and nanopsycho, developed Nanoputians- molecules that look like people- and subsequently made himself the punchline of the organic chemistry community. Tour's done some really good stuff and has been a great innovator in molecular electronics... then he had to go to some crazy-ass shit like make molecules that look like people and get it published in the Journal of Organic Chemistry, of all places, diminishing the journal and Tour's reputation.

I think the most offensive thing, though, is that Tour's Nanoputian community was not represented in whole in that JOC paper. Where were the alternative nanolifestyles? I mean, you had the nanoballerina, which was obviously female, but where were the male nanodancers? Well, I've decided to profile some of them here, because I accept alternative nanolifestyles, unlike some organic chemists, who shall remain nameless. I already introduced you to the Nanobot, scourge of the Nanoputians, but there are many others Tour conveniently left out as well.

First, the Nanoputians' neighbor to the North, the Nanocanadians, eh? Their socialized nanohealthcare makes a mockery out of Nanoputianland's system, and also they beat the Nanoputians at nanohockey every year. But the Nanoputians, at least, know that Nanocanada wouldn't be a country without them.

Next are the Nanohippies. They kinda smell, what with the nanodoobs they're constantly smoking, and their thiol-smelly feet. But they just want to relax man, chill out, get in the ether. They're just asking you to give nanopeace a chance.

Finally, let me introduce you to the Nanoqueers! These, happy, gay fellows are happy to find you the latest fashions in functionalized nanoclothes, and all they ask in return is to be left alone to homocouple in peace. These nanoqueers want to get nanomarried too and be represented just like every other Nanoputian. They're nanohere, they're nanoqueer, get nanoused to it!

And there you have it. A small sampling of the Nanoputians Tour forgot about. My seminar is coming along nicely, but sometimes I need to take a mental break. Some people read books. Some people play frisbee outside. I make ChemDraw images of molecules fucking. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

(...This might be my most offensive post ever. I hope professors don't read blogs. Well, except for the cool ones.)

EDIT: The crazy kids in the Holland group at Rochester sent this one in, complete with lolnano caption:

And here's Kyle's contribution:

Seriously, if you have some good ones, send 'em in! Make sure they're skeezy though.

22 comments:

Mitch said...

That last one went a bit far.

Mitch

Liquidcarbon said...

Nanohippies rock!

You know what, we gotta rise a contest for the formula of the most fucked up nanokid.

Liquidcarbon said...

Actually, it was a look at Kyle's not-so-natural products that gave me idea of a contest on invented molecules.

Anonymous said...

Can we get some calculations on the equilibrium constant for the Diels-Alder cycloaddition to the dicyclopentadiene in that last one?

-barney

Excimer said...

ha ha! I'm glad someone noticed the diels-alder. Well, it's certainly not energetically favorable (it's an abomination, right?), so I imagine the Keq must be small, which means it goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth...

MiddleO'Nowhere said...

That last one actually looks more like a nanoputian walking their dog than anything else.

Ashutosh said...

Finally, gay chemistry has come into the mainstream and is getting validated.

I always remember Jim Tour for when he made news by buying a lot of raw materials necessary for making nerve gases like Sarin and VX from Aldrich and other chemical suppliers without ever getting questioned. He then posed for a photo and had an article in C&EN about how easy it is for someone to legally get all the raw materials necessary for chemical weapons; with that stuff, Tour could make enough nerve gas to take out a small city.

Chris said...

I think I'm in love. Platonic love.

milkshake said...

I hope this scheme is sufficiently obscene for all the nanoperverts here

http://orgprepdaily.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/coupling.gif

milkshake said...

sorry, incomplete link:

orgprepdaily.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/coupling.gif

Excimer said...

milkshake: taking the line and crossing it, to everyone's benefit.

Ψ*Ψ said...

OMG, we have nanosatan. Now I can die happy.

mevans said...

LOVE the Terrence and Phillip reference. Simply brilliant.

Greg said...

Do you think Deucein'Putian would form an excimer under the right conditions? Perhaps someone can work out the analogous energy transfer mechanism for foot tapping.

Ψ*Ψ said...

Wow. I just realized that was THC in the nanohippie's hand.
You win.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the synthesis of nanocars (although, in tet lett these may be a)fictional or b)completely off the radar):

http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.tetlet.2007.06.080

and a nanotruck:

http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.tetlet.2007.06.081

the nanocanadians need a way to nanoget around you know.

squirmy said...

the nanocanadian was my favorite, but i almost did a spit take when i saw milkshake's "cat."

Russ said...

Oh man, these (and milkshake's) are too funny. What does it say about me though, that I look at them and immediately start thinking about how someone's crotch could be deprotonated to make a cyclopentadienyl anion, or someone's head could do a 6-pi electrocyclization?

Good stuff. Some blogger should try holding Chemdraw contests, analogous to Photoshop contest like they have on Fark and Worth1000 etc.

Reluctant Chemist said...

I so picked the wrong field of chemistry - the only thing remotely pervy about analytical chemistry is that people like to call it "Anal Chem".

Anonymous said...

Surely that nanoqueer is missing a member....

mebecker1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mebecker1 said...

Oh I love this.....this is great make some tech support nanoputians....and make them very powerful.....Oh this is too good...not offfensve...ACCURATE...